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If you didn’t think it was going to be extremely difficult, you weren’t thinking clearly. I do recall you talking to me about how difficult it was going to be.”“I think I talked to you about how difficult it was going to be to find a young woman who could handle it more than the difficulty in actually starting the relationship. And that’s what I was getting at - the difficulties I’m having now, which I didn’t expect.”“You thought that once you found a young woman who would accept the conditions, everything would be rosy? You aren’t that naïve, Mike!”“I didn’t think rosy, but I also agree I probably didn’t think through the intimacy issue. And I don’t mean sex by that.”“An ‘emotional affair’ can actually be far more devastating to a relationship, if you think about it.”“I suppose I can see that.”“Are you having second thoughts?”“No,” I replied. “I’m worried Elizaveta is having second thoughts.”“I’d say she is, and you need to be patient and let her work through this. I do need to ask. And I’m head over heels in lust and love with her.“Well, to be honest… I’m not sure. I met somebody, yesterday, actually. But I don’t know how it’s going to turn out. We’ll have to see on that one. But, no, there hasn’t been anyone else before that.”Suzie smiled at me as we munched our grapes and drank more champagne and ate some Gouda. We chatted about Alice, and about who gets what piece of art and which car. I was having fun with my wife, it was pretty nice! Maybe we can be friends, after the divorce.********I sat in the guest room lounge chair after I moved in some of my stuff. No need for pretense anymore, and maybe Suzie could get a good night sleep without my snoring to wake her up in the early hours.I gazed out the window into the blackness, wishing I had a cigarette. And I don’t even smoke. But it seemed like the thing to do when you’re brooding. And I was brooding big time.Melanie, my Mel. What am I going to do with you? What are you going to do with me? Do I really love.
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